Love and Reality

Chew Jetty - Penang 2017

I just want to write.

I might not know what i write, or even understand what i wrote.

After so many tries, i still lose in the battle of love. There are so much that i don't understand.

When people decided to move on, they will go, regardless who you are. 

Once you seem important, split second or blink of an eye, everything changes, you are nothing to them.

This feeling is hard to bear, it is like someone is pressing on your chest. So hard to breath, so hard to stand straight. Is this call... heartbreak?

I did do all my might to love as hard as i can, so my partner won't feel left out of my life. Share everything i could. Unconditional love? I do it everyday.

But i realize, when you do something too frequent, people might actually take it for granted, whether they with intend or without knowing.

Love is about compromise. Love is about selfless. Love knows no boundary. 

Fall in love is easy, but staying in love is a challenge. Two individual have to decide to stay together and make it works. The scariest part is that when one wake up in the morning and decide not to love you anymore.

I learned, they left to their own favour. While i decide for their favour.

I didn't change, i just align to be near them. I adapt to be their liking and work together that best for both world. Isn't love is all about compromising? 

I did selfless so the love can stays. But of course, on my heart's willing.

I have ran out of love. I just don't know how to love anymore. Because definitely my love have problems. I'm tired, that's all. 

I done so so much, but when after you have tried so much, the result is still the same, would you still will use the same energy again? You used up all your might to protect something precious, but in the end, you get nothing, would you try hard the next time?

Such irony is that every breakup seem the same. They suddenly changed, snap of fingers. They decide to move on their life without you. I guess I'm good for nothing. I always think my love is one of a kind. My love is like what you will read online. I aim to be perfect, but being perfect is like robot. Don't be perfect, keep some flaws, then you will have things to talk about.

They say promising things, but turn back on their words. They would say it doesn't matter anymore and go just like nothing has happen. 

Working and arranging so much just to be with you. Racing in the race towards you, when i'm finally reaching the end, you said you are tired of supporting and cheering for my race. I guess, i will never understand why. I can't seem to figure it out.

No matter how perfect you have become, or align to be someone they want, at least improve to be a better person. When it is about love, i become dumb and total selfless. 

I still believe no matter what happen in the end of a relationship, what they go through is totally real and true. 

Cherish every moment while it lasts.